Fantasy Football is back!!!!!!!!

Hell YA!!!!!!!!!!!!! The NFL lockout is now over and we can get back to what’s important in our lives, our Fantasy Football teams. I have gotten 3 requests to be in leagues and I’m trying to decide if I want to put myself thru another year of this. Now I like to think I know a tiny bit about sports, I always pick good teams but for the last SIX seasons I have mysteriously missed the playoffs in my money league. Every year I average top 3 or 4 in the league in points scored but end up 5-8 because I allow 130 per game. For some reason I never got this fantasy defense thing down go figure it seems pretty simple. I need to research how to stop people from scoring against me, that’s my only problem. I can’t be in 15 different cities on one day so I have no chance of streaking on to the field to strip the ball out of MJD’s hands when he thinks he has a clear shot at pay dirt. I’m that guy the one who is willing to take a tazer to the nuts to save 6 points and get a win I’m that desperate no joke.

 Typical scenario for me, it’s week 5 and I’m playing that dude that’s in your league who has been your friend for years but you never see him because his wife doesn’t let him out of the house alone. This poor schmuck got conned into watching the bachelor on the night of his draft with the lure of a little extra “play time” with the misses and ends up auto-drafting. He has two guys who retired in the preseason and another who is on IR for the year all still on his roster and ends up with A lethal combination of Jimmy Clausen to Armanti Edwards and they burn me for 30 points a piece against the Ravens defense, these guys wont even be playing by week 8 but its ok there playing against me this week so live it up fella’s that’s just the way it works.  To top it off he plays the Bills Defense against the Patriots (really?) and they run back 2 kicks and a pic for 30 points as well.

 Here is our Sunday night text conversation

 Me- Good play with the Bills D you lucky bastard!!! You suck!!!!!!

 Him- shit dude I was at the farmers market all day and forgot to even set my line                 up, what happened I’m watching survivor with the wife.

 Me-FUCK YOU DON’T TALK TO ME EVER AGAIN

 As I Move thru the season this particular scenario will play itself out at least 5 more times and until I figure out a way to defend this nonsense I will continue to rack my brain with a way to turn it around. Why can’t I ever play against Bryan Westbrook when he decides to take a knee at the goal line to run out the clock? Didn’t Mike Tolbert shoot a cop why is he playing? Who the fuck is Chris Ivory and how the hell did he score 3x. I am absolutely positive I will be staring into my drink around midnight on Sundays asking my self similar questions every week for the next 5 months.

This is my true to form fantasy football experience, I just can’t win. My virtual trophy case is filled with fantasy championships for Baseball, Basketball and hockey, hell I have won at football too but in non money leagues so it really doesn’t count. I have a good feeling this is the year everything changes, maybe I will get lucky and my son will turn off the computer right when im about to take my guy and I end up with Spergeon Winn and Terrell Owens thru auto draft. Maybe I will decide not to set my lineup, start Jason Campbell and get the W. who knows but Fantasy Football is back and so is the Polish Hammer Just win Baby!!!!!!!!!!!

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TOP 100 NFL Players

 

 So im looking over the list of the top 100 players in the NFL, I found it very interesting especially when I found out it was the players selections. I always like seeing the players rank their peers and then compare it to how the media ranks the same players. The champs led the list with 7 players followed by Colts, Cowboys and Ravens with 6 each. 59 offensive players made the list which is not that surprising but I thought the 12 QB’s  was too many.

  The list is right on for the top players at there positions. My issue starts with #4 Ray Lewis, I love Ray Lewis and think he is an all time great but he was not the 4th best player in all of football last year he may have been the top linebacker but there is not much separation between him and lets say Jerrod Mayo or Patrick Willis.  How was this list determined, did the players have to select a random 100 players or was it list your top 5 in every position then average it out.

Lets take a look at the WR position 18 wideouts were in top 100 players but where are Santana Moss or Stevie Johnson, Moss was 3rd in league in catches 10th in yards for a crappy team Johnson was top 10 in all statistical categories but omitted from this list. Are they better than let’s say Vonta Leach Fb from Texans or even Donavan Mcnabb I think so but I guess NFL players disagree. How about Stephen Tulloch from Tennesee, the dude had 160 tackles (2nd in the league) and played terrific against the pass all year but is not in the top 100.

So because I can I am removing some players from the list and adding my own.

First to go Jay Ratliff NT Dallas- ok so you made a couple pro-bowls and you’re a big guy in the middle but 31 tackles and 3.5 sacks is not spectacular; you are only on this list due to name recognition.Illtake Stephen Tulloch. Next up Donovan McNabb enough said Santana is getting your spot. Andre Gurode, the “Boys” couldn’t run all year and obviously couldn’t protect R-homo so your out like green ketchup in the 90’s (remember that) 

 

Josh Cribbs-love your game but Stevie Johnson is for real and he is getting your spot. Other suspects who I am not gona replace yet, Richard Seymour- whoa big Al slow down on the contracts, Jahri Evans another guard for a team who couldn’t run well.

 

So there you have it I could probably go on for ever but im getting bored………Is the lockout over?